Ebook Being a Great Divorced Father: Real-Life Advice From a Dad Who's Been There, by Paul Mandelstein
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Being a Great Divorced Father: Real-Life Advice From a Dad Who's Been There, by Paul Mandelstein
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Parent successfully after divorce and maintain a close relationship with your kids using this practical advice
When you divorce, your kids take top priority. But what does it take to be a great dad after your marital status changes? Being a Great Divorced Father offers the real-world advice you need to maintain a great relationship with your children, even as your relationship with your spouse comes to an end. This book's unique observations and strategies will help you build a new life after your divorce, in which the kids are front and center. It addresses:
Being a Great Divorced Dad focuses on helping you be the best dad you can be. You'll be able to maintain an extended family through collaboration and cooperation with your former spouse, keeping the focus on your children. Plus, read insights from families who have gone through the challenges of transitioning through a divorce and achieved success. Build a close relationship with your children through the trials of divorce with this book.
- Sales Rank: #1765449 in eBooks
- Published on: 2010-08-18
- Released on: 2010-08-18
- Format: Kindle eBook
Review
“We’ve never seen a Nolo book we didn’t like.” Small Business Opportunities
“The nation’s largest publisher of self-help legal books and software.” The Wall Street Journal
""In his landmark book, Paul Mendelstein advises divorced fathers to find ways to play a crucial role in their children's lives. He suggests that they call a truce with their ex-spouse -- to put an end to active fighting and to collaborate. While this is may be a challenge at times, collaboration with an ex paves the way for greater cooperation in the future. Children flourish best when raised by both a father and a mother -- whether in a divorced or intact family.""� Terry Gaspard, MSW, LICSW, Huffingtonpost.com
About the Author
Paul Mandelstein is founder and executive director of the Father Resource Network (www.father.com) which provides support and referral services designed to help men meet the challenges of fatherhood today and improve the strength of their families and communities. Paul is a pioneer in the field of personal communications and technology reference publishing; as president and publisher of The Book Publishing Company he directed a line of books in the family planning, comparative religion and community life categories. Along with other stints in publishing, he served six years as director of outreach publications for a nonprofit charitable relief organization working with the United Nations. Paul is a divorced father with three children.
Most helpful customer reviews
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
Singed Phoenix's Review: Being a Great Divorced Father
By Singed Phoenix
As a father who is currently going through a custody battle, let me give you some step by step advice of what you should do in these times...
Step 1: First off, and most importantly, get over it. Come to terms with what has happened, and do it as quick as possible. If that means going to counseling, talking with church members, family, friends, or whoever, then do it. I say this because fighting for your kids is not only damaging to yourself, but for your kids and the relationship you have with them, regardless of how strong, or how strong you think it is.
Step 2: Get a lawyer. Divorce and custody resolutions are a billion dollar industry. However, you need to be prepared so you can handle what lies ahead of you. Trust me, you don't want to be handed something like an unfavorable ruling from a judge, not expect it, lose your cool in front of the judge, and showing that you can't keep your cool under duress. A lawyer will walk you through the ins and outs of custody/divorce process.
Step 3: Research. Blogs, Google, self-help books will be your best friend. They will give you insight that your lawyer, family, and friends might not know because it's out of their scope.
I loved this book for the fact that it wasn't just centered on the father, but also the kids. Reading the chapter on looking out for warning signs of stress was quite insightful. I know that during these times that some of us can be so wrapped up in our bitterness, and/or our hatred or contempt for the mother, we lose focus on what is really important, the kids.
This book covers most of the bases that needed to be covered for going through this ordeal. Even going as in-depth as to cover what the kids should eat when they are with you. (Spoiler: cooking home cooked meals is better not because it is healthier, but the time you spend with the kids cooking the meals sends a solid message that you care and love your kids.)
From what I have gathered from this book, I have to give it a solid recommendation as a vital tool in any father's struggle with a custody matter. That is why I give it five stars. Who knows, maybe your child will be like my youngest, see the book on your table, and ask why do you have this book. I told him, I needed help through this time so I can maintain being a good dad for you guys. To which he replied, but you're already awesome.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
Good Info For a Limited Audience
By Hippie2MARS
I chose this book because my son is currently going through a divorce. I discovered, to my dismay, that most of the advice applies to fathers who get to see their children regularly. It also assumes that they have a relatively "sane" ex. Neither of these caveats apply to my son's situation. He lives 7 hours from his son and his visits are ad hoc at best thanks to conflicting schedules and zero cooperation from his child's mother. There is a lot of great advice here, however it essentially boils down to this little nugget: put your child's best interests ahead of your own. Well, duh. Not a bad book, but it just assumes the best of situations is in play. Sadly, not always the case.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Probably OK for Those in a Somewhat Amicable Divorce
By Robert Huffstedtler
On the positive side, this book is an easy read. Let's face it: if you are in a situation where you need to read this book, you are at a point where it helps to have everything broken down as simply as possible. Also, he is fairly comprehensive. He tackles how to try to save the marriage, how to set up your own home (as dads are usually the ones who leave the marital home), how to work through the legal issues, how to try to work through the day to day aspects of shared custody, and what to do about dating and remarriage. The best thing of all is that he consistently operates from the principle that the most important thing is to do what's right for the kids.
On the negative side, the book is too short to do any of that adequately. For instance, legal and custody issues are going to differ a lot from state to state, so it's difficult to give any good advice there that isn't obvious. Also, he generally assumes that there is at least the possibility that the parents can operate somewhat collaboratively even in the legal process. If you find that not to be the case in your situation, you may find that this book is of limited use.
One additional frustration I had with the book is that it is sprinkled with many infographics that seem to be mostly unrelated to the matter being discussed. I mostly found them distracting. I haven't looked to see if there are better books out there on the topic, but I'm pretty confident that there must be.
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